Insecurity has self-doubt. It is a lack of self-confidence that can be derived from different reasons or different aspects of life. It can sometimes be attributed to your physical features or your status in life, childhood experience, and traumas even from parents’ upbringing and your social interaction.
All women have different insecurities they struggle. Even the most beautiful women have insecurities. They are trying to find the imperfections in everything. Instead of being grateful for what they have, they focus more on their flaws.
Feeling insecure at times is healthy for everyone. But, exaggerating your insecurities is beyond ordinary. It will lead you to be scared to show the inner you. It will slowly affect your dispositions in life and your self-worth.
Here are some insecurities most women are struggling and tips on how to overcome each insecurity.
Intelligence
It is the intellectual ability of a person and one’s capacity to learn and apply the knowledge acquired. Each person has different levels of intelligence or brainpower. Some people are blessed to have high intellectual quotient, some are recognized as “ignorant.”
We see people who have a very high IQ as competent people, always make the best decisions. These people who are highly effective in their work and profession.
But, intelligent people tend to suffer social anxiety. I cite myself as an example, just kidding! Honestly, it’s rare or hard for them to mingle with others especially in crowded environments: school, work, and church.
In a point of the matter, we all have common sense, that’s already a hint of intelligence. Decision making and problem-solving in our daily struggle needs a little intellectual task unless you are diagnosed with a mental disorder which you cannot recognize which one of your hands is the left or right.
Also, we got skills that others don’t have, that we need to discover and utilize.
Yes, there are some that you envy for being brainy. But it doesn’t always imply that being intelligent is a guarantee that you will earn millions and be successful in life.
Our kababayan and idol, Manny Pacquiao is not a degree holder but by using his perseverance and dedication to work, he bring millions and even billions of money. Don’t lose hope and don’t be intimidated.
Try to discover your hidden talent or skill, and be good at it. Success in life at times doesn’t depend only on intelligence. You just have to trust yourself. “Diskarte sa in buhay lang yan.”
Looks/Beauty
“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” an old saying goes. We are all created beautiful equal and at the same time, in different ways. (Ha? Ang gulo?) Yes because it depends on where you focus on – is it with physical or inner beauty?
We have our own beauty in us that you just can’t see because you are focusing on others.
Remember that physical appearance is not the only one that defines beauty. Inner beauty is more important. A person can be beautiful with all her physical features, but one’s attitude is what matters most.
You don’t need to spend so much for all those makeups and beauty regimen to look good. Look natural. Skincare is more important than cover-ups.
Embrace your flaws and imperfections. It’s all in your mind. Think positive and stop beings harsh on yourself. Always think that nothing is wrong with your looks and believe in yourself. You have more to offer besides your outside appearance.
Career & Lifestyle
Women nowadays play a big role in the society, unlike before. I understand that lack of education is prominent in our country because of poverty. It was old school when after getting married, women should stay at home, take good care of their husbands and kids. Spend the day doing all the household chores.
It is different nowadays. Many women, both single and married, have their corporate jobs. Some married women feel insecure because they are full-time moms and jobless.
They feel worthless because they don’t earn money for their family. Some women are empty pockets and don’t have money to spend even for themselves.
Being a full-time mom is a tough job. You have nothing to be ashamed of staying at home and doing everything by yourself alone. But, let’s be clear that being a full-time mom doesn’t stop you from building your career as well.
Worry no more ladies! With technology today, you have many opportunities, even when you are at home. You can have a job and earn even dollars while feeding your babies. Search the internet, use your phone to communicate. You’ll find different groups or community of full-time moms that are working even with their babies sucking milk while typing or in front of the computer. You laughed because it’s true!
There are lots of niches you can choose from depending on your passion and interests. Don’t be afraid to learn new things. Be inspired and build your career while at home.
You can also create your own business online. This time you need to set your time and organize everything, think of it as your part-time job. Try to be the best version of yourself. Keep on learning and improving your skills.
It can also help if you do journaling. If I were you, after reading this blog, I’ll go straight ahead to your favorite bookstore and buy the most attractive notebook and pen you can see so you can start planning today.
Weight
Does being overweight makes you a lesser person? Should never be! Then why do you feel insecure being one? You don’t have to look like a supermodel to be appreciated by your friends and family.
Each one of us was born with a different body structure. Being fat can be attributed to your genes and your eating habits and metabolism. Your body type doesn’t define you as a person.
You are loved by your family and friends because you are who you are regardless of your curvy figure. And nowadays, there is less discrimination because it is acceptable even in the eyes of a judgmental person. Thank goodness to these famous women for bringing themselves out to show that there is nothing to be ashamed of having a Plus-Size body. Visit their social media profiles and steal a style that matches your personality.
Turning up the volume with my newest collection for @swimsuitsforall! https://t.co/q5n3THxFn7 pic.twitter.com/AjMOdCAH4P
— Ashley Graham (@ashleygraham) February 5, 2019
Good morning to Barbie Ferreira and nobody else. https://t.co/7eDOZmV0zF pic.twitter.com/7Rt5BBncrr
— InStyle (@InStyle) August 5, 2019
Being fat can still be sexy. It is how you feel about yourself, “nasa nagdadala yan”. Create your own style. Wear black and something that fit, show your curves. Use accessories to draw attention.
Height
Does height matter? Perhaps yes if you live in other countries where most people are tall. Because socially, some are being bullied as “pandak” or “unano” or as they say “Nano” just because they are short.
As a Filipino, being short is just normal. The average height of a Filipino for males is 5’6″ and 5’2″ for females.
I know that there are professions that have a height requirement. Especially, if you are aiming to be a flight attendant in the Philippines, female flight attendants must be 5’2, and males must be at least 5’6.
Republic Act No. 5487 actually mandates security guards to be 5’4, while Republic Act No. 8551 sets the same height as a cutoff among law enforcement officers.
If you are passionate to become a model or has the interest to enter the world of pageantry, the requirement must be 5’6″ in height. If Catriona Gray and Pia Wurtzbach were little shorter in height, they wouldn’t have bagged the Miss Universe Crown.
Perhaps your height is might if you would become a lawyer, engineer, or a doctor. As a matter of fact, you can use this as a stepping tool to strive higher to avoid belittling by others. In reality, you cannot change your height, unless you do surgery, but you can make more significant things than people who are gifted with tallness.
Do you think Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s height hinder her to be the First Female President of the Philippines? No!
You don’t have to feel insecure because you’re short. You have nothing to worry about your height. Nobody will question how you stand.
Bonus: It is not a big deal for me, but some Pinays are insecure with this. So I have to mention, complexion.
Other than the Philippines, our neighboring countries such as Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia are dismally affected by the animosity over skin color or colorism.
That’s why these countries made millions of sales from their productions of whitening products.
Let’s assess why we are obsessed with having whiter complexion rather than keeping our typically brown skin color. Tracing back our history and tradition as a Filipino, tanned-skin commonly classified as a field laborer and farmer while a fairer complexion was associated with wealth and indicated a higher social status. Although this judgment is not true today, many of us still having this mindset. Thus, some Pinays tend to use whitening products to become fairer or enhance their skin color.
Beauty and entertainment industries have also displayed a standard of beauty on us. Local celebrities that have foreign blood seem to be more prominent than pure-blooded Filipinos. They endorse whitening products in almost every commercial streams in television that influences even small children. Soon these kids will grow thinking that they are beautiful if they have a fairer complexion. Assuming that many will appreciate them if they are whiter. But sadly, in the long road, it will lead to insecurity.
And how could you ever live without these whitening products? I consider this socially ill. Why, oh, why?
Thankfully, I never lose hope in this generation. I have been an avid fan of skincare and have been watching YouTube tutorials. One day, I’ve bumped into this beautiful lady, named Asia Jackson. While streaming her videos, I learned that she has Filipino blood.
I was bullied for having dark skin when I lived in the Philippines. Everything I did, everywhere I went, it felt like I could never escape people’s harmful words. “Negra” was thrown at me everyday & it never stopped. (thread) #MagandangMorenx pic.twitter.com/gSfShn0ZYI
— Asia Jackson (@aasian) May 31, 2018
From her website https://www.asiajackson.com/.
In October 2016, Asia created the global movement #MagandangMorenx, literally translated to “beautiful brown skin,” to challenge colorism and celebrate the diversity of beauty in the Philippines. It has garnered international media coverage in publications such as NBC News, AJ+, Teen Vogue, HYPEBAE, ABS-CBN (Philippines), and Glamour Magazine. Follow her in her twitter account.
“I never try to intentionally set myself apart from the rest because I don’t try to be anything other than myself. If being myself makes me different, then that’s just the way it is–I never seek to be so.”
— Asia Jackson
Hey, Lady!
Don’t try to live by others set of standards. Accept your imperfections and do better on other things you. Focus on your strength. Be different in your own way.
Improve your skills. Keep on learning. Be yourself. Always be proud of who you are.
