A Letter to the Father, Husband or The One Who Stayed

Dear Father to My Child, Husband or The One who Stayed,

This is probably the cheesiest of them all.

A public declaration of something that you’d rather me text or call or tell you in person while we try to control drinking our late night wine because we are responsible parents.

But this is not just another day.

It’s the only day our family is reminded how a great man is in our lives even if his greatness is just there; greeting us with good morning kisses, cracking daily jokes you can write on jeans or telling us to eat as much food because we’re beautiful even if we ballooned.

So I’d like you to read this letter, and please feel free to grab your beer because my main goal is to make you cry like when you watched Hodor in Game of Thrones:

I remember the time when our little one came to this earth.

You asked if you can hold our little one and the anticipation in your face prevents all the tears you would like to cry. (Sidenote, I only realize now that you are a big crier and that does not make you any less awesome.)

“I will always be here, angel. I am not going anywhere,” you whispered to our baby, making sure this is only between you two.

My heart was sinking that day, in painkillers but feeling so much more. I remembered how you tried humming a lullaby as your voice cracks. You refused to put down our little one until the nurse came in. You said it’s okay. You said you’re never tired of us, for this.

But we both know that it’s not all sunshine and butterflies.

We were fooled by those flyers of parents, all smiles while lifting their babies in the most beautiful garden. Nothing prepared us for an actual baby, crying for no reason in the middle of the night. We exhausted our baby talks. We were sleeping like a war is gonna happen anytime soon. Our arms befriended the relieving ointments.

Most of all, I was depressed for all the changes that are happening in our lives and the changes that are yet to come. I threw these mood swings and fears at you anytime I can get. You probably married a crazy witch, I knew you thought of that many times.

When those unpleasant moments happen, you will pull me close and tell me you love me. That if you saw me like this when we first met, your eyes will still be glued on me. You would show me to the mirror, trace the stretch marks in my tummy and throw me a corny pick-up line.

When the sweet nothings don’t work, you shut up and come back later. Then, you try your luck again if I can smile if you tell me you love me.

Yes, a girl can dream of chivalry and fairytales. It’s entirely different when you realize, somebody will go to great lengths to tell you it can come true.

There are times we test our conversation and imagine different endings.

You don’t like this very much, and I, the strong independent woman I strive to have fears and crippling doubts. What if all these castles we build won’t stand for so long?

You said you can’t imagine that, ever. If the years would wear out the magic we used to have, you said you will still be there, as long you’re needed and I allow. And then you try to break the ice by saying, you’ll still try to make me fall in love with your smile.

All of these made me realize two things:

One, I realized that I have been meaning to say as many pick up lines to my husband and father of my child. But I’m deficient of humor so I will settle on telling you my thoughts,

I want to tell you that your beard looks amazing. You are as hot as our first date. Maybe hotter, now that you have a beer belly. I want to tell you that I will always be your person. I’m here so that you can tell me what’s wrong with work. You can tell me what’s bothering you. You can tell me your fears and I will tell you that we are in this together. I want to assure you that I love cooking our breakfast. And I still steal moments where I can stare at your face and fall for it over again.

Finally, I realized that you stayed and promised to stay when it was impossibly difficult. And for that, I will always choose you and the world we’re building than a cul-de-sac that promises fairytales with a happy ending.

This is a public declaration, cheesiest than your pick-up lines.

I love you.

And I’ll never get tired loving you or laughing at your jokes.

-Your wife